


Home

by hoeforyamato



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Cheating, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hinata can rail me, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Love Triangles, Morning After, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, atsumu is an ass, haikyuu time skip, reader has trust issues, suna is a Simp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28361430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoeforyamato/pseuds/hoeforyamato
Summary: Atsumu Miya is your home but what if that changed.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Reader, Miya Atsumu/Reader, Suna Rintarou/Reader
Comments: 49
Kudos: 178





	1. Chapter 1

Atsumu Miya showed you the most love and care. Being with him felt like you were home. And it’s funny because in the beginning you wanted absolutely nothing to do with the setter.   
———  
Seeing his hords of fan girls crowding his desk every morning made you want to gag mainly because it interfered with you claiming your own seat. Everyday it was the same when you were in high school. You’d make your way to class only to find you seat inaccessible. After finally being able to shoo away the path to your desk just in time for class to start you’d deal with Atsumu incessant chattering or what he’d refer to as flirting. You honestly didn’t understand how the thought those lame lines would work on anyone. But every class with out fail he’d always have some lame line to spew at you. It made no sense in your eyes why you out of the sea of girls and some boys he could pick from why did he have his sights set on you.

You paid no mind in the beginning rolling you eyes at all his advances. You figured it was just some game to him it’s not like any of what he said genuine at least not to you. Apparently the volleyball player thought these attempts were the most romantic thing ever when he finally cornered you after class one.

“ Aye I have been trying my best to get your attention for the last month,” he said as he laid his hand on your desk trapping you in your place, “What’s y’er deal?” You cocked you head to the side in disbelief. Moving his arm to the side you stood straightening you paper to put in you bag. Turning back to face him.

“Miya-San you can’t actually expect me to believe that was your “best effort” in trying to win my affection” you chuckled. Atsumu there with a look of confusion dawning his (what you couldn’t deny) extremely handsome face. Decided to cut your fellow second year some slack you continued. “None of your lines were meaningful, you showed no authentic interest in me,” you gave him a soft smile starting to make your way out of the class room. You stopped at the door turning and presenting him with a wicked smile “ it won’t be that easy, make sure to give it y’er all next.” And with that you we’re gonna leaving him in disbelief he’d never been turned down before. He gave a small laugh to no one but himself as he decided in that moment he’d do everything to make you his.

Sure enough he put his all into trying to win your heart. While he wasn’t rude to his fan girls he definitely didn’t indulge them as much which eased your morning commute to your desk. Next were the notes he would leave. The first few were longer and almost made you want to laugh your ass off they were his love letter to you that you could tell he tried to make sound poetic. ( failing epically) but still you send him a small smile and a nod in acceptance. The other were little notes, some stating small facts about what he liked about you or little jokes about the day. Next was the gifts he would leave you. Once it was a small flower, another time a candy bar, most recently a delicious piece of milk bread. All of these little tokens definitely grabbed your heart but the moment you knew you had fallen for him was the day after you came back to school after having a cold. After sitting in your seat next to him you saw him rummage through his bag he turned to you and present you with all the notes he had taken for you through your absence. Seeing this boy who’s mind only ever focus on volleyball and cared little for his own grade do this broke down all your wall. You stared at the notes for a moment before leaning over and place a small kiss to his cheek. A blush crept up both of you faces. And from that moment forward you were his.  
———

But that was then. It was now six years later and not only was Atsumu Miya your home he was also your fiancé. You had each been there for each other through everything. You were there through nationals and comforted him through his lose. You were there with him to celebrate every win. He stood by you side as you stared college and you stayed by his as he joined the professional league. Through the years you had your highs and lows but your love for him never wavered. Not through the distance his job would bring or the scheduling conflict with your schooling and his training. In the end none of that mattered to you because you were his and he was yours. The nights you spent in each other’s arm were the best thing you could have ever wished for.

As of recently though even if he was your home. You were beginning to feel less like his. It started with small things like extra practice which wasn’t anything you were used to Atsumu had the habit of over working himself. You don’t say anything yet because you knows he gotten better and knows his limits. It progresses to though he’s becoming more distant always heading straight to bed after meals. 

“Hey Tsumu wanna watch a movie tonight?” You smile weakly from the couch. 

“Not tonight YN I’m really tired,” he reply’s placing a small kiss on your forehead as he head to bed. 

It doesn’t stop there although you wish it would. He starts being out later claiming to have extra practice. But you notice the smell of alcohol on his breath when he climbs into bed believing you are asleep. And honestly you wish you would so maybe some nights you wouldn’t see the signs. The next clue was when he now put a lock on his phone. Something he had never done before. But still you don’t question him. The “late practices” become more frequent and it more often he gone than when he’s around. 

Part of you wants to complain to you friends but for one your friends were his friends after spending so long together it’s hard for your lives not to be connected in such ways and two if you do it will make it all to real. You aren’t stupid. You know the truth you know the one reasons you both haven’t been intimate lately is because his body has marks on it from another. You realized that when you had gone into the bathroom real quick while he was showering. It was the tiniest glance but you still saw the scratches on his back that weren’t left by you. Yet you still say nothing and you doubt he realizes you saw them. 

You aren’t ready for this to be real. You aren’t ready for your home to be gone. Tomorrow is your birthday and your hoping that this will be it . Tomorrow you will both spend the day together like you used to you’ll laugh and smile everything will be right. Everything will go back to the way it was. Even though deep down you know the truth. And the truth is that you’ve cried yourself to sleep every night the past month wondering where you went wrong. Wondering how you weren’t good enough. Wondering what you should have done to make him stay. But he’s never home to see those tear you cry. 

The next morning you wake and go to start some breakfast leaving Atsumu in bed. You wonder when he got home but you know it doesn’t matter. You hear the shower start as you made your coffee. Shortly after the setter appears wearing his training clothes and his duffel bag packed. “ I’m heading to the gym,” he states giving you a quick peck to the temple before heading to the door. Those little kisses always cause your heart to squeeze in hope. He doesn’t wait for a response as he leaves. A sigh leaves you lips as you realize he hadn’t said anything to you about your birthday. You shake your head and fool yourself into thinking he’ll surprise you later. 

You continued you day getting little birthday messages from friends and family. Osamu had a box of Onigiri sent to you for lunch with a note saying Happy Birthday. You have a nice call with your best friend Suna and he tell you he’ll come see you soon to celebrate. You were on the phone with Suna longer than you expected seeing the time now said 5:37. After ending the call you see one missed messaged from Tsmu 💕 : practicing late tonight don’t wait up. 

You heart stops. He really forgot. You really mean that little that he forgot your birthday. It was the final straw. Although part of your body wanted to break down into sobs you remained calm as though working on auto pilot. Slowly you make your way to your room grabbing your luggage and started packing all of your essentials and anything you could bare to leave behind not knowing if you’d have the courage to return. After finally loading your car it was now 7:20. You knew you shouldn’t that you’d only get hurt more but you pulled out your phone and did something you never could bring yourself to do before. You checked his location. A chuckle leaves your lips as you see he’s at your favorite restaurant. The one you both loved so much and had spent countless anniversaries dinners at. Not thinking you run back into your condo that you shared with the twin. You dug to the back of you closest and quickly change into one of your favorite dresses. Your hair was already nice and you didn’t need much make up so as you finished getting ready you left. Heading straight to the restaurant.

You can’t say for sure what cause you to want to go there. Maybe a small part of yourself needed to see it. But sure enough you can’t mistake that yellow hair sitting toward the back of the restaurant is your fiancé with another woman. His back is to you and her attention is all on him enraptured in whatever garbage he’s spewing. In that moment a calm rage settles over you. You look at the hostess and requested a table a little ways away from them one where your still out of his view. As you sit you place an order for a glass of wine still setting up how you want to approach this. Then an daring thought crosses your mind. You called for your waitress. 

“Excuse me but you see that couple over there,” you said motioning towards them. “Yes ma’am” she nods. “Well that’s my best friend over there and I really love to do something nice for them it’s their birthday!” The waitress smiles as you explain your plan. You sit and wait as you sip your wine when finally the waitress walks over to their table.

“Hi” the waitress greets them before setting down the dessert. A look of confusion crosses their faces and you can’t help but grin. Atsumu smiles politely before looking down at the cake. His smile drops immediately as he read the cake “Happy Birthday YN”. You giggle as you see the panic in his eyes. “I’m sorry we didn’t order this,” the unknown woman states to the waitress. You can see the waitress smile as she points to your table an explains your friend ordered it for you. You not quite sure how to explain the emotions written on Atsumu’s face as he watches you walk up the table. 

“Y-YN,” he stutters. You can see the look of confusion on the girls face and for moment you feel sorry for her maybe she was just as clueless as you. “Hi Tsmu,” you smile leaning over to take a bite of your birthday cake. “Mmm Chocolate, delicious,” you smiled before looking him dead in the eyes as you removed your engagement ring and dropped it in his glass of champagne. “You can have this back,” you state bitterly before turning around and handing your waitress a big bill to cover your drink the cake and a nice tip. You start to walk of as you hear him call for you. But you refuse to turn back. You know your moment of strength is fading and you won’t let him see you tears. So you keep walking straight to you car and drive away. Not sure where to go. You just left your home.


	2. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu is left to deal with the aftermath.

Atsumu cursed himself as you ran out the restaurant. He knew he was getting to cocky. Frustration was taking over his body as he sat back down at the table. He ran his hand over his face as let out a heavy sigh before looking up at her. Yuki ,his most recent girlfriend, sat there loss for words. He could see the tears building in her eyes. Obviously she was confused it’s not like she knew anything about you he had courted her like all the others under the disguise of being single. He racked his brain he knew he had been careless lately. Normally you’d never notice his infidelity he’d been doing it for quite sometime now and for so long you were none the wiser. He’d find some chick take her either back to her place or a hotel have his fun and be gone only repeating the same girl maybe twice at most three times if she was a really good lay. He’d make sure no marks were left and he was clean up before heading home to you his unsuspecting fiancé. Yuki was different though she was the first woman to actually catch his attention in more than just a sexual capacity. Don’t get him wrong the sex with her was amazing but he also found himself enjoying her company wanting to spend more and more time with her. He curses maybe if he hadn’t been so stupid and forgot your birthday everything would be fine. Being so pissed at the situation he failed to worry about Yuki’s feelings as she finally broke the silence.

“Tsmu I don’t get it, we’ve been together for eight months how could you cheat on me,” she sniffled tears starting to stream down her face as her usually charming boyfriend sat across from her looking at her with annoyance.

He scoffed looking at her pitiful state. If he wasn’t already so fed up with the situation he was sure he could use his silver tongue to get out of this situation and have her back at his side momentarily, but no he needed to save all his effort and false reassurances for you. 

“Oh sweetheart I didn’t cheat on you,” he gave a little chuckle, “That’s was my fiancé , I’ve been with her for six years what makes you think eight months means anything, you were the side piece darling.” He saw the hurt on her face and knew he had just been a complete ass but he couldn’t find it in him to care right now although he was sure he would later. That hurt turned to anger as she stood and threw her drink in his face. 

“You are an ASSHOLE Atsumu!” She yelled finally losing what composer she was keeping before storming away out the same door you had just previously exited. 

Yeah I guess I am he thought as wiped his face the rag before signaling for the check. Looking at the glass that contained your ring he thought of all the Pinterest boards you had saved of rings and dresses and different color schemes. He thought of the excitement and love in your eyes when he finally proposed. He plucked the ring out of the drink before pocketing it and heading home. 

As he entered your shared home he realized he had guessed right you weren’t there. He pulled out his phone, pulling up your contact and hitting call. It wouldn’t connect. He let out the breath he was holding, so you had already blocked him he thought. He walked to their room wanting to change out of his wet dress shirt. He immediately noticed the most of your drawers were empty and your half The closet was looking sparse. He wondered if you were coming back for the rest. Part of him was sure you would, you would come back where else could you go. Yet somewhere deep in his mind part of him was screaming at the idea of you being gone. But he wouldn’t let that part surface. He walked out to the kitchen noticing the box of onigiri left out along with his brother’s birthday note to you. He rolled his eyes of course Osamu remembered. That’s probably where you are ,now that he thinks about it, that or your heading to Suna that’s who you always ran to he grimaced. 

Thinking back to high school when the two of you had first gotten together he had introduced you to the team. You and Suna just clicked it was like you had been friends all of your lives the way you easily laughed and joked together. He had never seen anyone pull Suna from his shell the way you had and he still hadn’t. Not a single one of the middle blockers previous significant others had ever pulled the same reaction from the stoic man as you had. It didn’t take Tsumu long to realize the fool was head over heels for you. But it’s didn’t matter to him you were completely oblivious to blockers affections, as well as the fact that you were dutifully loyal to the setter. He wasn’t worried because what was Suna compared to him.

While he figures he should call either of the two to make sure you are indeed safe, he doesn’t feel like getting a lecture right before bed. He grabs his glass of water before heading to bed. Noticing how cold the mattress is without you. It’s fine he thinks he doesn’t need you. He knew that fact from the countless woman he’d beded in the last few years. Plus he’s sure you’ll come back. He’s the only man you’ve ever loved.   
————

Atsumu wakes the next morning to find the house eerily quiet. He pays little mind to it before heading off to the gym he has a game today he can’t allow himself to be distracted. The setters normal routine isn’t disrupted for the most part. Finding his team doing his warm ups. He does however run into Osamu at the gym he’s setting up his vendors stand for Onigiri Miya. His brother says nothing of you to Atsumu minus some well wishes. So you must have ran to Suna he muses. His game goes off with out a hitch securing the victory for MSBY.

He finds the house just as he left it no trace of you having step foot back into your home. He checks his phone looking for a sign that you want to talk. No messages or calls. He decides to try and check you location but it seems that your number is no longer connected to his plan. He furrows his brow it seemed like a big step but he brushes it off his mind. He had just won a big game he wanted to celebrate. Usually he’d have dinner with you either going out or indulging in your delicious home cooking, you both share smiles about the game either her gushing about her favorite moments had she attended the game which normally she’d try to make a priority, although there were times you’d have class or work and you have to miss in which you’d sit and listen to him starry eyed as he retold the highlights of the game. You look him like he was a star shooting across the sky. But right now the kitchen was empty and the house was silent missing the awes of your praise. It was to much at the moment. The setter changes into something dashing before heading out he’ll grab something to eat and then maybe get a celebratory drink.

That’s how Atsumu found himself here at some sleek bar with a glass of scotch in his hand. He surveyed the bar watching the people around dance and talk and go about their night. He try’s not to think about the silence waiting for him at home .That’s until he spots a girl. She look kind of like you similar build although her hair is longer and a slightly different hue. He knows it’s not you but still that hasn’t stopped him before so he slides his way over to her. 

“Hi there,” he smiles a charming smile. She looks up at him giving a sly smile. From here he can see her eyes they’re nothing like yours, he shakes the thought from his head. “You know your boyfriend really shouldn’t leave you all alone like this you are much to beautiful,” if he a a nickel for every time he used that line he could probably retire early. He could see a slight blush appear on her cheeks.

“I would tell him but I don’t have one Mr. — ,” she trailed off leaving an opening for his name.

“Miya,” he smiles a bright fake smile. “And you are?” He questions.

“Chiyo,” she smile subtly biting her lip as her eyes raked down his figure. It’s almost too easy he thinks to himself.

“Well Chiyo-San may I buy you a drink?” He not so subtly eyes her as well.

And that how he got here for the first time ever he brought a woman home to your bed. Their body’s mashed together. Their clothes strewn around the house leading a trail to the bedroom. The recently quiet house filled with grunts and moans. “Miya-San,”she cry’s out and he has to try not to roll his eyes. She might look like you but she sound nothing like you. You always makes the prettiest gasps and mewls as he worked your body over. She doesn’t feel like you, he can’t remember the last time you were together like this breathless underneath him. He shakes his head trying to rid himself of the thoughts. He’s confused he never compared you before with is flings you were always separate from his mind when the slept with other women. Frustrated with his thoughts he pulls out flipping the chick ,what was her name Chizu? , over on her knees before pounding into her relentlessly pushing her face in to the mattress as he took frustrations out. Her moans get louder as his face scrunches up in annoyance. It’s not long before he’s finished them both off and she laying there breathless as he throws away the condom. He see her make herself a little more comfortable on his bed he shared with you. He cringes.

“Hey Chizu, uh it’s probably best if you get going,” he states pulling a pair of sweatpants on.

He can see the disgust on her face. “My name is Chiyo asshole!” She says grabbing her clothes on as she start out the door. 

Normally he’d care that he’d at least said the wrong name. But right now he just laid on the bed staring at the ceiling. The silence was back.  
————

It has been two weeks since you left. He hadn’t heard from you, you never came back for you stuff. He hasn’t heard from Suna yet either although he figures the ass is to busy trying win and mend your broken heart. It’s only been two weeks but those two weeks without you were torture. He realized very quickly how much comfort you brought to him. How much he relied on you. All the mornings you’d spend cuddled together drinking your morning coffee. Although that had been less recent while he busying himself with Yuki. He missed the delicious meals you’d cook. Or the way you’d take care of him if he’d train to hard. He misses seeing you at the desk studying away your tongue poking out ever so slightly as you concentrated. He misses your laugh that would fill the house as you watched whatever anime you were currently bingeing always asking him to join you. You were always the one looking out for him making sure that he ate and rested. Always handling the groceries and the house work. The place was a mess without you he was a mess with out you. He misses the life you brought to the house. He’s drawn from with wallowing when he hears knocks at the door.

He’s surprised to see his brother and Suna standing on the other side. 

“Hey I’ve been trying to get in touch with YN but she’s hasn’t been answering is she here?” Suna asks stepping to his house his brother following behind. Suna stops his face scrunching up at the state of the place. Osamu also notices.

“Damn Tsumu its a mess in here YN let y’all live like this?” His twin asks taking a good look at his disheveled twin. “What happened,” concern crossing his similar features.

Atsumus mind starts to reel a bit. You werent with Suna?

“YN hasn’t been with you?” He looks at the middle blocker he was hoping he knew how you were.

“No,” he states starting to get really worried. “What happened,” there was an edge to his voice. 

Atsumu stayed quiet. His brother nudges him but he still looks down. It isn’t until Suna grabs him by his collar that he looks up.

“She left me.”He states.

“That makes no sense YN loves you with everything she has she wouldn’t just leave you, what happened,” Osamu questions again. 

“I cheated on her and she found out,” he says. He doesn’t look up but he can feel the rage coming off of Suna and the disappointment from his twin. 

“What the fuck do you mean you cheated on her!” he yelled shaking him “for how long!” 

The was no use lying and trying to hide it you weren’t coming back he can tell. And even if you would he knew he didn’t deserve you. 

“The past 2 years,” he chokes out. Suna let’s go of his collar in disbelief.He breaths getting ready to explain everything but he wasn’t ready when he felt a fist connect with his cheek. He was on the ground rubbing his jaw. He looked up and Suna was seething in anger. His brother looked disgusted with him. 

“Where is she,” Suna demanded. 

“I don’t know she left two weeks ago I figured she was with you,” 

“So let get this straight you broke her heart and she left you and you didn’t even check to make sure she was safe! Did you ever even love her,” the dark haired middle blocker screamed at his former teammate. Of course he loved you but he can’t say that not after he didn’t show it .He look down he couldn’t meet his friends eyes he felt so ashamed. He heard a scoff and then the front door slam. Suna was gone. He looked up and saw his brother staring down at him.

“You’re a real piece of shit you know that,” Samu says before he follows out the door. 

Sobs tear through Tsumu as he realizes he ruined everything.

He sat there on the floor left in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least one more chapter. Also I love atsumu this is just how I wrote his character for this work.


	3. Memories

You were the most beautiful girl Suna had ever seen. When he saw you that first day of school it was like the clouds in his normally dreary day parted and he could feel the sun. You weren’t in the same class much to his dismay. That didn’t stop the middle blocker from searching for your face in the crowds of the halls or the cafeteria. Though it was rare he stilled catch some glimpses. In those moments a war waged in his mind part of him wanted to go introduce himself, he wanted to know your name. To just be around you. But another side of his brain forbid that. Stating that he was fine were he was he would just interrupt your day. What would he even say to you. Hi I’m Suna I’ve been watching you since the first and even though I know next to nothing about you I can’t get you out of my head..... yeah no. He’d just sit back and wait for opportunity to knock. Suna curses himself for his laziness. He can’t describe how his heart stop the day his friend brought you to practice and introduce you as his girlfriend. 

Though he kept his composure he felt as though the air was stolen from his lungs. This is the closesest he had ever to been to you and it was overwhelming to say the least. You stood there at Atsumu’s side smiling and greeting the team memebers and when your attention drew to Suna he realized his favorite thing about you was your eyes. You beautiful (e/c) eyes shown with so much light and happiness. When you smiled you smiled with your eyes, always getting this cute little crinkle. He shook his head at these feelings. You were taken and by one of his friends no less. 

From that moment on you presence was always close by joining the boys for lunch or stopping by practice with little snacks you had made the team. Suna almost resents how easy he gets along with you. How simple it is to fall into a banter with you. He hates how calming it is when you’d sit next to him and laugh as you showed him some meme. He wanted to be annoyed with you ever time you’d put your foot down and insist he let you wrap his finger after a bad block. But he couldn’t you were just such a caring person. He’d try and give you some petty insults, maybe if he caused a rift between the two of you he’d feel better, maybe then if there was more space between you he’d feel less guilty for always being enraptured by you. But you’d always snap back with something just as clever or petty. You could go toe to toe in trading insults but both of you knew neither of you meant it. You’d always break out into that breathtaking smile after a few rounds of back and forth. He realized soon that he’d much rather keep you in his life as a friend even if he could never have you because at least he’d still see that smile. At least as your best friend he’d still see your eyes shine bright and he could take a small pleasure in knowing he brought some of that happiness.  
——————-

“You need to calm down,” Suna turned to see Osamu taking the seat on the bench next to him.

Suna hands run through his hair gripping the roots in frustration as he let out a yell. 

“How the fuck am I supposed to be calm, she could be hurt or missing, and that ass is just sitting there! Two weeks! Lord knows what could have happened by now.” He shaking part of him want to back up and give Atsumu a few more licks but he knows no good will come from it. 

“YN is a grown woman and she’s smart and strong and you know damn well she’d bitch you out right now for thinking she couldn’t handle herself,” the former ace chuckled. 

“I’d much rather her here bitching cause at least then she’d be here,” he groaned rubbing his hand down his legs trying to let out some of his nerves. “Did you know?” He asked the grey haired twin.

Samu gave his quick glare of offense. “Absolutely not believe me if I’d known I would have been the one to deck him , you just beat me to it.”

“The last i heard from her was her birthday, maybe if I’d had stopped by and brought the Onigiri myself I could have been there for her,” he sighs. 

“We’ll find her don’t worry,” his friend pats his back, “and then you can finally confess,”he smiles.

“I’m that obvious huh,” he sighed. 

Samu let a loud laugh “ OH PLEASE we all knew, well maybe not YN she can be kinda blind ya’know,”

Suna shook his head laughing. He has to see you.  
—————-

They returned home today from nationals. The loss to Karasuno was really starting to sink in now that was Suna was home sitting in his room alone the house quiet. He laid there berating himself for balls he failed to block. If I had just done better maybe my team would still be playing. Maybe - he was disrupted from his thoughts by the chime of the door bell. His parents were out of town this weekend. They had assumed like many Inarizaki would still be out in Tokyo fighting for first place. It was fine though Suna was used to being alone. But that just confused him more as he made his way to the door. Who could possibly be here. All he can say is he’d never except to open the door and see you standing there. Like always you stole his breath away.

“What yer not gunna let me in,” you teased “and to think I brought you snacks!” He just realized now she was caring a grocery bag that looked pretty heavy.

“Give me that ya Dummy,” he said taking away the snacks, he stepped to the side allowing her entry. 

“I figured you were hungry, but try to save me some,” she giggled. Suna just rolled his eyes as she took a seat on his couch. 

“What are you doing here?” He questioned taking his seat beside her making sure to leave a respectable distance. Though he wants nothing more than to hold you close. He dismisses the thought as he rummages threw the goodies wait for your response. He smiles seeing the package of milk bread you bought. He took it out and tossed it to you knowing it was your favorite. You smile and give a slight nod as a thank you. 

“I figured you wouldn’t want to be alone after the game, I know your probably thinking a whole bunch of nonsense right now aren’t ya?” She looked at him with a solem but knowing look. He cursed how well you knew him. Seeing he had been doing just that before your arrival. His heart squeezed at the thought of you wanting to comfort him. It almost gives him a slight hope. What about Atsumu, he lost that game too.

“Why aren’t you with you boyfriend, he’s probably taking it harder than me,” he asks knowing he might ruin this little fantasy he has here with you. He see a sad look cross your face at the mention of the setter. It’s not a look Suna wants to keep seeing. 

“You’re right about that, Tsmu’s having a tough go of it,” she gave a soft smile. “But he said he didn’t want my pity and asked I leave,” Suna could see your eyes get a little glassy thinking back to the conversation. 

“He’s an Ass.” The middle blocker states plainly. 

“He’s just got a lot of emotions right now and wants his space, it’s okay.” But Suna can see your hurt. He knows it wont do any good to keep talking about it.

“His loss, now I get all of the snacks,” pulling out a bag of chips. “Want to watch a movie?”

That’s how the evening went the both of you curled up on the couch Suna had brought down some pillows and blankets and he wouldn’t lie he loved seeing you wrapped in his comforter. You went on and on about this anime you started and you nearly died when he agreed to let you show it to him, pumping your fist in the air going off about your favorite character and how he’s totally going to love him. Suna looks over at you and your wearing the biggest smile eyes wide with joy. This is will always be his favorite moment he thinks.  
—————-

He’s right that moment still sticks out in his mind. He has plenty of great memories but that one right there is his favorite. He’s been thinking back on a lot of his memories of you lately. 

It’s been seven months since your birthday and no one in your former circle new anything about where you were. You hadn’t talked to anyone. Your number was no longer in service and all of you socials have gone silent. 

After a couple of days of looking for you Suna was ready to go to the Police and report you missing, ready to call every hospital and pray you are safe. At this point that’s all that matters to him. He can’t bare to think out any bad happening to you but it’s hard to keep his mind out of the dark place. Osamu was the one to stop him. Luckily they had gotten in touch with their former captain and while Kita was sorry to hear about the situation and very disappointed in his junior for his actions. Every one was upset with Atsumu for his actions. Kita was gladly willing to help in the search. Still being in their home town he was able to pay your parents a quick visit. And while he was happy he could inform them both that your parents had heard from you the other day so your fine. That was all your parents could tell him, stating that you had requested to keep your privacy not wanting to talk to anyone. So while they knew the biggest detail they still knew nothing. 

It hurt Suna the most. How could you just cut him off like that. You were the most important person to him how could you not know that. He fretted. He knows your hurting but why did you have to cut all of them off most importantly him. Part of him was so incredibly angry how could you not even say goodbye to him. Did his friendship really mean that little to you. But another part of him understood that he couldn’t possibly know what you are going through. All he knew is how much he missed your smiling eyes. He would give everything to see you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again unedited.


	4. Chance Encounters

You spent your birthday in some hotel room. Sitting on the plush bed still in your dress not bothering to change your curl in to a fetal position as sobs raked through you. Your whole world crashed down on you everything you knew was a lie. Your phone lit up with one last birthday message from some distant relative. You see the time it’s now one in the morning you’ve been laying here for hours you can’t understand how you have any liquid in your body left to cry but still tears trail down your cheeks as you look at your lock screen. It’s a photo from three Christmas’s ago. Atsumu held you close from behind as you pose in front of a festive Christmas tree. Your eyes are shut tight from laughter as the setter places a kiss to your cheek bone, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. This was your favorite photo of the two of you, it always showed the realness in this candid shot. You remember laughing so hard from some cheesy joke he had just whispered in your ear. Your heart twists at the photo, a moment of anger slices through you. Was any of it real? You fling your phone at the wall effectively shattering the screen. You scream into the pillow. You wish you could feel numb to all of the emotions. But no ones that lucky. You aren’t sure when you feel asleep but you wake to find the remnants of tears stuck to your face. You move to the bathroom. You look like death. Your face is pale and eyes swollen and red. Your body aches from the fitful sleep you had. You grab a quick shower before putting on your comfiest pajamas and lay back down. All the energy is drained you look for your phone before remembering your fit of rage last night groan. You switch on the TV for some form of distraction but the gods must really hate you as it opens to a sports channel and you see him in all of his intensity standing on the volleyball court. Part of your brain pleads to change the channel but you must be a masochist as you watch him in all his usual glory. He commands the stadium as he goes up to serve. He looks perfectly fine like you hadn’t just walked out of his life. Like he hadn’t just ripped your world to shreds. You're finally turning the television off sitting in the silence thinking of the memories of your home. You ordered some takeout trying to settle the ache in your stomach. The food tasted bland, everything has lost its edge. The bed offers no comfort. The sunlight offers no warmth. It’s not long before you fall into another depression nap. 

Waking up late in the evening you can’t stop your mind from making a stupid decision. But you miss him. You just want to see him. That’s how you end up outside of the door that leads to the home you shared with him. Trying to work up the courage to enter. His car was in his usual spot so you know he's here. A bitter thought run through you at the thought that while you were here he couldn’t be bothered to be home before two am at the earliest, yet the first night gone and here he is at home at ten o’clock. Silently you open the door. It was a mistake. You don’t make it even completely through the threshold before you hear the obnoxious moan and grunts, the sound of skin slapping. It makes you sick “OH Miya-San!” You hear some woman bellow out. You feel nauseous. You hurry out the door trying you best not to cause any noise to interrupt the activities in the house. You bend over you feel as though you’ll throw up right there on the spot. After calming yourself you make a way to a convenience store picking up a bottle of wine before heading back to you hotel room. There’s no way you’ll make it through the night sober.

The next morning you clean your self up before heading to the bank and clear out your joint account. Normally you’d feel bad taking the money but this cash was saved for your wedding and that would never happen now. You stopped by the phone store getting your own account not wanting anymore strings attached to the player. You spend the rest of your morning looking for a small affordable apartment. Luckily you were able to find one with in distance of your school and a reasonable price. It’s now the afternoon and you have to rush not wanting to be late for your class. Although it probably wouldn’t have made a difference if you had missed today, you barely pay attention. You find yourself back with the hotel walls. 

You feel completely and utterly alone. You want nothing more to call your best friend or stop by Samu’s shop and cry on his shoulder while you eat some comfort food. But there is hesitation Suna was Atsumu's friend before he was yours, and you'll probably break down in tears just looking at Osamu he was his damn twin for heavens sake. What were you to them you wonder. You only got close to them because of the setter. Part of you wanted to believe that they cared about you and all of those friendships would still be there but you couldn’t. How could they want you around. You really question your place in their lives. It’s hard to trust in anything you had also believed Atsumu loved you and would never hurt you, yet that much was proven untrue. It's hard to trust in anything you feel or know. Another reason is your afraid of all of the memories you shared with them Atsumu ever present in those moments. You don’t want to think about him any more. You don’t want any remnants of that man In your life. While you want to believe Suna would be there for you, that he’d choose you. It was not a risk you were ready to take. You don’t think you could survive another heartbreak. It’s better to leave things as is, to cherish the good memories and not risk tainting them with pain.   
—— ——

It’s been two months since your birthday. You’ve moved into a quaint apartment. You got a job working at a little cafe to pay for rent. Between work and studying for your degree you try to keep yourself busy. It’s hard being on your own. You try to distract yourself with the things that brought you joy. Some days are better than others but all in all everything still hurts. Graduation is only a couple of months away so at least there’s something to look forward too. There are moments that come quite often that you miss your friends but you can’t bring yourself to reach out still untrusting. You look back sometimes and where the lies stopped. You avoid everything that has to do his Atsumu Miya. Even the sight of a simple volleyball brings distress.

Three and half months later the cosmos played another prank on you. It was just another Friday afternoon and you were working in the cafe. You had just helped a young beautiful woman at the counter. She seemed so familiar but you couldn’t quit place it. You could see a puzzled look on her face. Then it hit you. You knew exactly who this woman was. She was the one with your ex fiancé at the restaurant that fateful night. The realization must have struck her too. Her eyes grew wide with worry. Although you weren’t expecting what she did next.

“I AM SO SORRY,” she basically yelling as she bows in front of you. “ I’m so sorry for the part I played in your pain.” She continues. You can tell she is really distressed. You coworkers and a few costumers look at the spectacle. Hating all of the attention now directed toward the both, you beg her to please stand. 

“I need you to understand I had no idea, I would never have gone for a taken man.” 

You sighed and sent a look to your coworker that you were going to take a quick break. “Would you like a cup of coffee,” you ask her. You never thought That you’d be sitting having coffee with the mistress of the only man you ever loved yet here you are. There’s an awkward silence for a moment. You don’t rush things you can see she’s also having a hard time trying to figure out where to start. You take a sip of your coffee as she finally speaks.

“My names Yuki,” she states.

“YN ,” you offer back.

“Well, umm YN I just want to say I am so sorry for wh-” you cut her off holding up your hand.

“You said you didn’t know, correct?” You send a glance at her raising your eyebrow. She nods.

“Are you still with him?” She sits up straight.

“Absolutely not,” she states with conviction “after you left I asked him what just happed and he explained who you were and I left.. well not with out dumping my drink in face" she gave a little giggle. 

“Ha! Oh I wish I could have seen that,” you laughed picturing him drenched in the restaurant. “In that case you have nothing to apologize for, you are a victim of Atsumu’s selfishness as well. I’m sorry he put you through that.” She gave a sad smile you could see she was hurt too. The two of you spent a few more moments in each other’s comfort discussing the facts of his affair. It hurts to know that he had a legitimate relationship with Yuki but a part of you was glad to know. It was a small piece of closure to know how deep his transgressions ran, knowing it wasn’t just sex hurt even more. But it furthered your stance that he didn’t love you and if he had at one point the love had faded on his part some time ago. You spent the rest of your shift plagued with thoughts of you past.

After your shift you went home to change before heading out to your local bar. In your time alone you had taken solace in drinking with strangers. After dressing in an appealing yet comfortable outfit you headed out. You wanted to feel comfy and relaxed but that didn’t stop you from wanting to look nice. In your past visits it wasn’t uncommon for men to try and talk you up and while you did indulge in the compliments none had succeeded in getting you to return home with them. There had yet to be a guy who fully kept your attention away from your former lover. 

You found your favorite spot at the bar, just far enough from the blaring music and smokers. You smiled at the bartender before ordering your usual. You sat there letting the liquor relax you as you listened to what music the DJ was playing tonight. Normally you stick to just drinks but after the day you had you need something to take the edge off. After downing a shot of tequila you notice a presence next to you. 

“Is this seat taken,” the man smiled at you. You had never seen him here before and you know damn well you would have noticed him before. Although he wasn’t a giant like most of the men you knew in your life, he wasn’t excessively short either you could tell he’d still stand taller than you. You couldn’t lie the man was extremely defined and muscular, you swear his tanned thighs that you saw peeking from under his khaki shorts were bigger than your face. His skin was tanned you can tell from pleanty of time in the sun. He had strong jaw line but his most prominent feature was this bright mop of orange hair he tried to hide under a ball cap. He had a bright smile that reached his alluring brown eyes. It was safe to say he was very handsome. He tilts his head to the side a little smirk reaching his lips. It then you realized you had never responded and just been sitting here gawking. 

“Um no it’s not uhh go ahead,” you stammered out feeling a blush creep on to your cheeks at your response. What is this feeling why are you acting like a school girl. 

He takes the seat next to you ordering a beer then turning to you reaching out his hand. “ Shoyo Hinata,” he states. 

You accept his hand giving it a light shake. “ YN LN,” you responded. “ I’ve never seen you here before Hinata-San,” you prod wanting to know about the stranger.

“Just Shoyo is fine,”he gives you another dazzling smile. “I actually just moved back to Japan,” he states “this is my first time at this bar , but with customers as beautiful as you I’ll definitely have to come more often.” Ohh hes smooth you think. You let out a light chuckle at his compliment although it’s fairly simple compared to some of lines you’ve heard it definitely has the desired affect on you.

“Well then Shoyo where are you traveling from?” Question not wanting the convo to stop. 

“I just got back from Brazil,” he mused that signature smile never far from his face. 

“Wow Brazil! That’s so far was it hard to be so far from home?”you questioned. 

The conversation with Hinata flowed effortlessly. Pleanty of laughes shared as he told you countless stories of his time in South America. Being in conversation with him is like talking to the sun it’s so bright and happy. He does eventually mention playing beach volleyball and for a moment you mind thinks of your ex but it then you realized it was the first time since Sho made his appearance that you had thought of the setter. It felt nice to finally have your mind clearing from the twin. As of recent at any mention of volleyball you would have ended the convo making an excuse to leave, yet you didn’t want to, plus beach volleyball is completely different than regular volleyball you reason. 

Time passes by as well do several drinks. You are by no means drunk just a little tipsy. Over the course of your talking the space between Hinata started to narrow. Right now you were so close you could smell his cologne and the slight minty scent of his breath. His hand caressed your elbow. Your breath hitched when he finally leaned in “do wanna get out of here?,” you can see his iris’s darken ever so slightly. “We can go back to my place,” he continued. 

Several thoughts ran threw your mind in that moment. One, you were nervous, you hadnt been with anyone other than Atsumu. Two, you were sure you weren’t ready for a relationship but it was just sex it’s not like he’s asking on a romantic vacation. And three you wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against yours. “Absolutely.”

That’s how you got to where you are now. You barely made it through the threshold before Hinata had you pinned to the door. You were locked in a searing kiss. It was like he was stealing the air from your lungs. His hands roamed your figure before slipping under your blouse. “You are absolutely gorgeous,” he breaths before pressing a kiss under your jaw trailing down you neck. You place you hands on his shoulders trying to ground yourself. You let out a loud moan as he gives a bite to your shoulder while grabbing a hand full of you breast. He smiled into you neck with pleasure from the sounds you made. The two of you stumbled a bit as you started making your way to his room shedding clothes left and right. The door closed to the bedroom and you were ready for a mindblowing night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight canon divergence on how long Hinata is in Brazil.   
> Also let me know who your rooting for!


	5. Chapter 5

The night you spent with Hinata is no less than amazing. You don’t remember passing out, but your eyes open from your groggy sleep. It takes you a moment to register that this is not your room. Your eyes widened realizing you had stayed the night which was not something you’d had planned on. You take in your surroundings Hinata lays behind you and arm draped over your waist. Your heart speeds up as you understand how close he is to you, his face nuzzled close to your neck. You could feel his light snores. Oh my goodness! You screamed in your head IM IN A MANS BED! AND HES CUDDLING ME! You had never slept with anyone other than Atsumu let alone cuddled. So this was a lot to process. The hardest thing to understand was why it felt so nice in his arms. You quickly shook that thought out of you mind, you probably were just touched starved you rationalized. That’s why you lie to yourself when his grip on your waist tightens and he pulls you closer to his chest, saying it doesn’t make your heart flutter your just nervous. 

“Good morning,” he smiles his voice gruff from sleep. “What time is it,” he questions seeing that you had already been awake for a moment. 

“I’m not sure,” you admitt rubbing your head, a twinge of pain zinging threw you. You were slightly startled when he leaned over your body reaching for his phone on the nightstand. A heat creeped onto your cheeks at the proximity of your naked bodies only a sheet separating him from your sight. Although the tenderness between your legs showed that you two had been plenty close the prior night. Thinking of some the activities that transpired last night caused more embarrassment to consume you. You did things with this complete stranger that had taken you forever to work yourself up to with Tsumu. You body was sore from the multiple rounds the ginger had put you through, his stamina was insane, although you couldn’t complain he aimed to please. He laid back down in his spot next to you checking his phone.

“It’s about to be 9:30, he yawns rubbing the sleep from his warm chestnut eyes. You peek over at him getting a better look of his physique in the daylight. Your eyes widened because damn was he hot. He laid on his side propped up on one elbow as he stared at the screen of his device. Your eyes trailed down his exposed chest and abdomen his defined abs and pecks on full display for you. As you look farther down the blanket falls carelessly over his lap one leg peeking out. You raised an eyebrow at the little peek of a tan line you could see. You were broke from you trance as he asks you a question.

“You wanna go get some breakfast?,” your eyes widened “ I’d offer to cook but my fridge is still pretty empty and plus my cooking sucks I’d hate to make you suffer through that,” he chuckled. It was too much this is supposed to be just sex, and breakfast sounds to much like a date, too domestic. You sit up quickly holding the sheet to your chest. 

“Ah no I can’t, i-I uhhh need to go,” you stammered looking around the room for your clothes.

“Hey, hey it’s fine,” he try’s to calm you seeing how anxious you are. “you stay right here I’ll go grab your clothes and let you get changed,” he said standing pulling a pair of boxers on. You nodded and steadied your breathing as he went to gather your outfit from last night. 

“There you go that should be everything,” he laid the pile on the bed next to you, “uhh sorry about your underwear,” he smiled nervously reaching his hand up to rub the back of his neck. You looked down at the pair of torn lace panties siting at the top of the pile. 

You returned an embarrassed smile, “it’s okay,” you assure him. 

“Well I’ll be in the kitchen making some coffee, uh the restroom is right out the door to the left if you need it, uhh take your time,” he said excusing himself to give you some privacy. 

You take a moment to breath before you start to dress yourself. It felt a little strange to not have on underwear but you guess it’s a small price to pay for the pleasure you felt last night. You won’t lie you definitely needed that stress relief. You quickly finished putting yourself together before exiting the room seeing Hinata standing there at the counter full of confidence for being in only boxers with coffee mug in hand you notice his smile that never seems to stray far from his face just as present. 

“Would you like a cup,” he asked gesturing to the still half full pot of coffee.

You smile politely smile before shaking your head no. “Uh I need to get going I have class today, but ..” you trail off trying to figure out how to word what needs to come next. “umm look thank for the offer for breakfast and you know for last night,” he breaks into a big smirk at the mention of last night’s activities. “ but I’m not looking for a relationship so it’s probably best we leave it off here,” still smiling, yet not as big as before, he nods. You breath a sigh of relief. 

“No worries I get it.” 

“Well in that case, goodbye Shoyo, see ya,” you gave a small wave before exiting his apartment. 

Hopefully, Hinata thinks to himself wanting to in deed see you again.  
————-

As much as you swore it was a one time occurrence you kept finding yourself back in Shoyo's bed. It was always the same you’d head to your bar, sit in your usual spot, order your usual drink and before long you’d see the orange haired man take his seat next to you. The first time you saw him after your lust filled night together was rather awkward. You were surprised when he sat to you and struck up a conversation like you hadn’t had a one night stand just last week. But the chatting was always so easy going you honestly didn’t mind having him around. Plus with him there less men were trying to chat you up. That second time you met him you told yourself you’d keep your pants on but a couple drinks and several laughs later you’d find yourself in his bed with the ginger in between your legs. You could never find it in yourself to be angry at yourself afterwards ,And while this started happening more frequently it was rare you’d stay the night like that first time. Usually getting an Uber home after getting dicked down. You couldn’t lie it was exhilarating being with Shoyo. Although if you were still pretty hammered Hinata would insist you stay not wanting something bad to happen on your way home. He’d offer you his bed while he opted for the couch. Eventually your routine changed you both swapped numbers and soon enough you weren’t meeting at the bar before heading to his place you weren’t needing the aid of alcohol to loosen you up before finding yourself in his bed... or his shower or really any surface in his apartment. You were both insatiable. In time you weren’t rushing away immediately after. Choosing to indulge him , you’ve come to realize that Hinata really enjoyed cuddling and aftercare. Always lighting up when you’d let him pamper you after a particularly rough or extensive session. He’d gladly spoil you after every round but you were still hesitant on to much intimacy. But occasionally you’d satisfy his want for cuddles. Although you’d deny it you rather enjoyed laying in his embrace feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat lull you to sleep. That was another change you no longer accepted him sleeping on the couch when you stayed overnight not wanting to be an inconvenience but also knowing he’d never allow you to take the couch you stopped him one night stating that you’d like him to stay. His eyes lit up as he pounced back into the bed. 

But you stayed firm in the fact that you weren’t looking for a relationship and he assured you that he understood and was okay with the arrangement. And that’s how it’s been for the last two months. It had been seven months since your relationship with Atsumu had ended and you would have never guessed that in seven month you’d be in a casual friends with benefits relationship with Hinata. And that’s what you would call yourselves, Hinata was your friend and you his. You steadily got to know each other more and more about each other’s lives. You were a little concerned when you found out it wasn’t solely beach volleyball he played but you put your worries to the side volleyball was a big enough sport. Right? All in all you’d say slowly but surely you were getting happier. You found yourself thinking of you know who less, and some of the pain was starting to subside. Although that distrust was still there. You were still broken. As close as you and Sho got there was still part of you that couldn’t trust yet. How did you know he wouldn’t get bored of you just like the setter had. You weren’t ready to put yourself up to get hurt again. You wanted to trust Hinata he was an amazing guy so kind and understanding never pushing you past what you were comfortable with. He constantly looked out for you checking on you during some of your intense study sessions as you readied for finals always making sure you were taking care of yourself and not overworking. If you stayed over he’d always make sure to set an extra alarm so you wouldn’t be late for class or work. It meant so much to you how much he cared but you just couldn’t believe in it , you had believed that Atsumu cared about you yet that was a lie. Who’s to say this wouldn’t end up just the same. That’s why you wanted to just be friends, a small part still kept a window of hope open that one day it may be more but it wouldn’t be fair to Hinata to bring up any of this while filled with so much uncertainty.   
————

You laid there breaths ragged as Hinata pinned you to the bed your legs pressed to your chest as he pounded into you relentlessly. This was his favorite position he loved being so close to you being able to see all of the pleasure in your face as he worked your body over, your tits bouncing to the rhythm he set. 

“Sho,” you moaned your thoughts clouded as he built up yet another orgasm, this was your third one since you had stepped foot into his bedroom.

“What’s that baby?” He smirks as he see you struggle to form words. He loved making you like this. Eyes crossed as you gasped for air, craving the release he’d give you. “Fuck beautiful you know how much I love it when your so fucked out you can’t speak straight,” he laughed. You smile at him happy to provide him with what he likes. Hinata was getting lost in his lust. He freed one of your legs letting it rest against his shoulder as he grabbed his headboard for a better angle as he started drilling into you. A loud whimper ripped threw you. You felt so full as his cock reached so deep into you. You knew you were done for and Sho could tell as well , “ that’s it beautiful go ahead and cum for me, fuck your so gorgeous like this,” he groaned as he followed you into his own release spilling himself into the condom. 

You laid there breathless. Hinata stood disposing of the used rubber, he exited the room going to grab a soft wet rag and a glass of water making sure to clean and rehydrate you before climbing back into bed and pulling you onto his chest. You both laid there for a while catching you breath, your head resting on his chest arm wrapped around him as you nuzzled further into him. You could feel his heartbeat start to stabilize. He trailed one his hand up and down your back in a very soothing pattern. It felt amazing honestly laying here with him was better than anything you had ever experienced with Tsumu. 

You couldn’t see it but Hinata laid there with the goofiest grin as much as he loved sex with you this was his favorite part. Holding you in his arms so tight calming you while you are still so vulnerable. He wishes it could be like this all the time. That he could wrap his arms around you at anytime to hold you whenever he wants, to wake up to your beautiful bed head. He pushes those thoughts to the side as much as he wants you to be his he knows you aren’t ready and the last thing he’d want to do is rush you. You had told him a while back about your ex and everything he had put you threw and how betrayed you were by his actions. You never told him who your ex was and he didn’t ask it wasn’t his place you’d tell him if he needed to know and he knew that. He hated how much your ex had broken you but all he wanted to do was to do his best to fix the damage done. As much as he wanted to be able to call you his , he was happy to wait. 

You were finally back to normal but you weren’t ready to leave his embrace. You decided to strike up a some casual pillow talk. You asked him about his day, how his morning run had went. He asked if you were excited about graduation seeing as it was only a month away. You told him about some annoying customers you had at the cafe this morning. You were smiling up at him laughing at the story story he was telling when his eyes lit up! 

“That’s right I haven’t told you yet but I made it through try outs!” He boasted. “ I made the team!” You could see the happiness radiating off of him. For some reason you got an unsettling feeling in your gut. You put it to the side.

“THATS AMAZING SHO!” You yelled launching forward wrapping him in a tight hug. “What team?”

“I’ll be playing for the MSBY Black Jackels,” he grins. You feel everything slow down. The words are still processing in your mind. No it can’t be! Why? Why did it have to be his team! Out of all the teams in Japan why did Hinata have to go to the one who’s starting setter ruined you. Suddenly all of the thoughts and memories of Atsumu that had been hidden from you recently came crashing back to you. You wanted nothing to do with him. You couldn’t do it, for the same reason you had pushed away all of your friends and uprooted your life you couldn’t do this, you couldn’t let him back into your life you weren’t nearly ready for him to be in anyway connected to your life. All of the these overwhelming thoughts at were crashing over you were interrupted when Hinata asked his question. One you knew the answer to but couldn’t give to him. 

“We have a game next week, would you come watch me play?” He smiled at you. You looked up at him saddness in your eyes. You quickly stood up gathering and putting on your clothes. Stammering for a response. Hinata sat up in alarm at your sudden actions he could sense something wasn’t right. He waits for you to speak seeing you try to form your words. Now fully dressed. You looked up at him his normally smiling face wasn’t there instead it was a face of worry. 

“ I-I can’t Shoyo, I can’t go to your game,” you looked around grabbing your purse and phone, “I need to go Sho.” Hinata was now standing he was so confused everything was just fine what had gone wrong. Had he pushed you to far? Was inviting you to his game to intimate?

“Wait YN,” he said reaching for you he need to know you were okay. 

“ I’m so so sorry Shoyo I just need to leave, I’m so sorry,” you said frantically looking into his eyes trying to truly express your sincerity in your apology. It wasn’t his fault. He was just excited about his dream and here you were ruining the moment. You always ruin everything you chastised yourself. With one last woeful look you were gone out the door. Hinata was left there in utter confusion. He let out a sigh before sitting back down on the bed letting out a groan of frustration.  
————-

You closed the door to your apartment with a thud finally allowing the tears you were keeping in to flow free. You kicked off your shoes before throwing yourself onto your bed. You let out a scream of frustration into your pillow as sobs over came you. The exhaustion of the day took you over and soon you were out like a light.

You woke up a couple hours later it was only around seven o’clock and your stomach was growling. This wasn’t going to be a good night. You look at your phone seeing several texts and a missed call from the ginger. You let out a groan, first you needed food and then you needed booze. You went to your bathroom taking a quick shower finally cleaning your post sex body. Before putting on a simple outfit. You slipped out your apartment door and out into the Tokyo night. You stopped at one of your favorite food stalls getting a small bowl of ramen to warm your tired soul. Normally you’d head to your Usual bar but you couldn’t there was the chance of running into Shoyo there and that’s not something you were ready for. You pulled out your phone finding a bar not to far out of your area, it had a sleeker vibe but maybe a little change would be good. So with that you head straight there. Its more crowded than what you were used to. It had a more lively crowd than you local bar. There were couples dancing and large groups of friends standing around and laughing. You head to the bar starting off with two shots straight back to back. Tonight wasn’t a night you wanted to go easy. You sat down at the bar nursing the drinking you had just ordered. You thought back to the incident with Hinata, he must hate you, you figured. He was always there for you yet one mention of you ex and you couldn’t even suck it up to be happy for him. You hated that. He deserved better than what you gave him. You were getting lost in your thoughts letting you mind go down a rabbit hole. Finally you looked up from your drink eyes scanning the bar. And that’s when it happens your eyes lock onto each other from the other side of the bar. It felt like all the air in your lungs suddenly evaporated. It felt unreal like you weren’t really seeing him standing there. He looked just as stunned like he had just seen a ghost. He snaps out of his first and when he starts to walk towards you it finally hits you that it’s really him. You finally breath and when you do his name leaves your lips.

“Suna,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ahh this took me so long to write sorry guys! Been having a tough few days. But we are back in the game. So This chapter is mainly the relationship between Hinata and YN! I love Hinata so much im actually thinking about making another series with him after this one is done. Let me know if y’all would be interested. I decided to put a little NSFW scene in.


	6. Promises

You eyes opened to the sun peering through the curtain shining straight right into your face. You moved your hands to block the sun easeing the strain it caused on your eyes. You were groggy, and you back felt stiff. This definitely wasn’t your bed. You surveyed the area finally remembering, that’s right I’m at Suna’s house. You let out a yawn wiping the sleep from your eyes. That when you felt him move next to you. Yesterday the boys had come back from their loss at nationals. While they made the trip back you spent the whole day getting everything ready for your boyfriend’s return. You wanted to make him feel better so you went to the market that morning and spent your day making homemade sashimi with Fatty Tuna and some Onigiri with the left overs for you ,Tsumu and his twin. Although when he finally arrived home and saw you sitting on his door step he wasn’t very receptive.

“Hey there baby,” you gave him a quiet smile, you know he can’t be feeling to hot right now. You ignored the hurt you felt when he rolled his eyes at you.

“What are you doing here YN?” He sighed there was a slight annoyance to his tone. Again you brushed it to the side.

“I wanted to come be here for you, oh and I brought some food for you and Samu,” you presented the bag containing all of the goodies you had made for them. 

Osamu’s eyes lit up at the word food quickly grabbing the bag out your hands “ohhh hell yeah I’m starving, mmmh thanks YN,” he said trying to stuff an Onigiri in his mouth before entering the Miya household. You laughed at his antics before turning your attention back to your boyfriend. 

Atsumu stood there in front of you with a look of exhaustion etched on his face. “I was thinking maybe we could spend the evening together, maybe watch a movie, or just cuddle or really whatever you want,” you explained not sure what would be the best in this situation you weren’t used to having to comfort him after a loss. 

He frowned “what I want is to be left alone I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now.” 

You scoffed “ deal with me!” You questioned back suprised by his attitude.

“Yeah YN I really dont feel like putting up with your clinginess right now it’s annoying,” he huffed.

Your jaw dropped he had never spoke to you that way before. “Wow Okay Atsumu, I knew you were gunna be upset but that doesn’t mean you get to be a dick to me! Enjoy the food I’m going to leave it’s obvious I’m not wanted here,” you stated not standing to be talked like that. 

You didn’t stick around to hear his response, you both needed to calm down at this point. You made your way down the street still fuming and ranting in your head “how dare he!” You thought! Ughhh you needed to calm down. You already knew the destination you were heading for. You had planned to save some of the snacks you had made and bring some home to Suna on your way home tonight. But now all the food was with Atsumu. You could feel your stomach growl. You let out a frustrated sigh stuspid Tsumu that was you meal too. You decide to stop at convenience store loading up on all of yours and the middle blockers favorite snacks. 

And that’s how you ended up where you are now. Laying down on his couch covered in his comforter with your best friends face snuggled up into your stomach. You giggled he looked adorable. Part of you really wanted snap a photo for proof. Suna was never the most affectionate when it came to anyone really, so to see him holding your waist close was so sweet. He looked so peaceful. You were so thankful for him. When you showed up at his door yesterday you were supposed to cheer him up but it seems it was more likely the other way around. Lost in thought you start running your fingers through his hair as he laid sleeping on your abdomen. He was always there for you and always put your feeling into account with anything you did together. He paid attention to the little details ,like how he had remembered yesterday that milk bread was your favorite, but he did that all the time always so analytical with everything. So you don’t think to much of it. It’s hard to stop yourself and if anyone EVER asked you , you would lie. But for a moment you imagined what it would be like if you were dating the withdrawn boy. You were quick to dismiss that idea though. It was wrong you love Atsumu you knew that and plus he was you best friend. Hell he was one of your boyfriends closest friends. Your smile dropped a little thinking about the setter. That’s right your boyfriend, that is if that what he still was. You weren’t mad anymore a little hurt yes but all the anger had disapatted. You understood he wasn’t in the best place and you weren’t going to let one fight break you up. But you couldn’t speak for him. Were you really that clingy? Did you annoy him that much? Did he still want to be with you? These intrusive thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of your phone. Huh speak of the devil. 

Tsumu 💕 : hey babe.

Tsumu 💕: I know ur probably pissed u should be.

Tsumu 💕 : I’m so so sorry for being an ass yesterday. I was just so mad at myself for not doing enough at the match, but that doesn’t matter it was no excuse for how I treated you. I get it if you don’t want to deal with me anymore but I just want you to know you're not annoying I didn’t mean any of the shit I said I was just angry and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I promise it’ll never happen again please give me another chance I love you YN 🥺💕

You let out a sigh of relief. Looking back down at the boy laying next to you. He really was quite handsome, and so caring. He's going to make someone so happy one day.  
—————

You’re not sure what brought that memory into your head at this moment but you push it to the side as Suna approached you. He looked like a man on a mission weaving threw the bar patrons. It was like if he didn’t reach you in time you’d disappear. You found your heart beating faster as we neared you. Soon enough he was standing in front of you with a look of disbelief etched on his normally stoic face. 

You were nervous what should you say. What if he’s angry with you. You didn’t get much time to worry because as soon as the middle blocker confirmed you weren't a figment of his imagination he pulled you into his chest. His arms wrapping around you securely. You quickly melt into his embrace a sense of familiarity swarming over you. 

“Where the hell have you been dumbass,” he choked out before quickly pulling his emotions back in. You laughed into his chest at his nickname for you. 

“Sorry Suna I just had to leave I couldn’t be around him anymore,” you choked out. You removed yourself from his grasp moving back to your seat at the bar. You motioned for him to join you. You took a large gulp needing to calm your nerves.

“Look don’t apologize, you were going through a lot , hell I don’t know how I would react if I found out the person I loved was cheating on me for two years, I might committed murder,” he lets out a nervous laugh. Your brain freezes two years.... two years your mind just keeps repeating like it just can’t possibly process that information. You face drops, you turn to the bartender “ another shot of tequila please, uh make that a double,” lord knows you need it.

Suna looks at you eyes wide you had never been much of a drinker before ,at least not hard liquor, the most you ever drank were a glass or two of wine. So to see you finish off your mixed drink then proceed to down a double shot of tequila was a sight. 

Your mind was swimming. As you paid out the bartender leaving a nice tip for the speedy service your mind ran in circles around the new information. You knew he had cheated on you for the eight months with Yuki and part of you figured it wasn’t the first time but TWO DAMN YEARS! You want to scream and break something like he couldn’t betray you anymore then Suna has to go tell you it was for hell of a lot longer than you had figured. You froze you brain caught on to one detail. Suna knew it was for two years and you didn’t. Did he know the whole damn time! Your brain couldn’t think rationally. You need to get out of here. It was to much the music was too loud, the place was to crowded, you felt like you couldn’t breath. You gave him a look of disgust before turning and walking away ready to leave this place. 

Suna was shocked all of the sudden you looked at him your face full of pain. Before he could realize what was happening you were slipping through the crowd. Oh no he panics he just found you he couldn't let you slip away that easy. He wanted to know why you dropped him. He needed to know if he meant that little to you. So he started running after you calling your name. Luck was on his side tonight. Although you had been able to make it out the club and partially down the block he was able to catch you. 

“YN wait , where are you going,” he asked desperately reaching for your wrist to stop you. You snatched your arm away from him angry. 

“I’m going home Suna leave me alone,” you shout over you shoulder heading towards your apartment luckily it wasn’t too far. Although you could feel the alcohol start to settle in you knew you could still navigate your way home.

“ stop YN talk to me,” you ignored him and kept walking he let out a groan of frustration and started following you. It not like he had just downed two shots but he had plenty of drinks before he had found you. He was not expecting to have to go for a walk. 

You look over your shoulder noticing he was following you. “Ughh leave me alone Suna,” you yell back to him, “stop following me!”

“Too bad I am walking with you till get home, I just watched you put back a lot of alcohol I know you can’t be sober so there is no way I’m letting you go by yourself! I’m walking with you I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.” You sighed knowing there was no changing his mind. You looked forward continuing your trek home. 

After that last outburst the rest of the walk was silent. Your mind was clouded. You wanted to cry so badly how could Suna act like he cared about you if he helped hide Atsumus betrayal from you. Maybe you were right maybe the friendship was a lie, maybe the connection was one sided. You could feel a swell of emotions in your chest. You denied it for long but you missed Suna. You missed your late night calls, you missed getting coffee , you missed forcing him to watch the newest episode of whatever anime you were watching, you missed hearing all about his games and being one of his number one fans, you missed sending memes, but most of all you missed how much he always seemed to be there when you needed him. But what if that was all just an act. What if ir was just a distraction from all the lies in your life. Before you knew it you were standing at you front door. You could feel his presence behind you unmoving. 

“Goodbye Suna,” you huffed opening your door.

“STOP! YN please!” His voice broke. “Please don’t shut me out again! Talk to me!” You refused look back but if you did you’d see tears welling in his eyes holding on with all might trying not to spill over his heated cheeks. You looked at the entrance of your home every fiber in your body screaming at you to comfort him to reach out and hold him close, but you were so scared. So afraid to learn the truth. 

“If our friendship ever meant anything to you please talk to me.” He voice so quiet like he was terrified of your response. You moved forward opening the door and stepping through the threshold. You could hear his sharp intake of air you could feel the pain radiating from him. You turned to him seeing Suna broken in a way you had never seen before. Not when he lost nationals, not when he lost his pet, not with any of his break ups. Your heart shattered at the sight. You looked into his eyes before opening you door wider for him to enter. You could see the relief rack through his body. Slowly as though he was unsure you’d change your mind at the last minute he stepped into your apartment. He tentatively took off his shoes before looking around your home studying every detail. You walk past him taking a seat on your couch you look down at the ground in front of you. You can feel the couch seat next to you shift under his weight his long legs entering your vision as you kept from looking up. You both sat in an uncomfortable silence both unsure were to start. 

“So this is we’re you been all this time,” he let out a small laugh at the irony, “all that time I spent looking for you and here you were less then ten minutes away from me.” 

Your face scrunched “ why would you look for me,” you asked letting your insecurities get the best of you.

He looked at you like you had just asked him if the sky was blue because to him that had to be stupidest question he had ever heard. You shifted uncomfortably under his stare you body now facing him. You head throbbing from the cluster of emotions and from the alcohol coursing throughout your body. You were sorta thankful for your inebriated state. You doubted you’d have the small amount of courage you have now with out it. Your attention turned back to the male sitting beside you.

“Because I care about you dumbass.”

“Oh really! Yeah it sure seemed like that! Two years he cheated on me for TWO YEARS!,” you started to feel heated the walls you had built around your emotions bursting at the seems. “ that’s news to me although at this point I’m not all that surprised, but still I was only aware that he had been cheating on me for eight months! So I just find it strange that you know it was for two years! Tell me Suna did you know the whole time and just let me sit there ignorant to his betrayal! I know you are his friend and that you’ve known him longer but still I thought our friendship meant something!” You aren’t sure when it started but tears were spilling down your cheeks. You looked into his eyes and saw pain. He was hurt that you thought he’d ever choose anyone over you.

He takes a deep breath steadying himself “I’m going to explain everything and I need you to please just listen to me,” he sighs looking to you for your response. You gave a small nod . He let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He rubs his hands over his face trying his best to calm his nerves. 

“It was two weeks after your birthday,” he begins. “You weren’t answering your phone, it was so unusual for you to ignore me for that long no matter how busy you were you’d always call me and check up, so when I got no response I got scared you were angry with me ,so when I was meeting up with Osamu and he said he hadn’t heard from you either and that Atsumu wasn’t answering his phone neither we decided to stop by.” His face twitched with aggravation. “You can imagine our surprise to find the place a mess and Atsumu just sitting there in self pity. It became apparent that you weren’t there. When he said you left him Samu and I were shocked there was no way you’d just leave so we both knew something had to happen.” You could see Suna’s jaw clench and fist ball up grabbing at his pants. “When he finally broke and told us he cheated on you and you had caught him he came clean about the two years. I couldn’t hear anymore of his bullshit so I punched him and left.” Your eyes went wide. He punched him. “Osamu had to come outside and calm me down, I was so worried no one knew where you were and that ass was just sitting there feeling bad for himself!” He seethed. You placed your hand on his arm trying to calm him. It must have done the trick. He took a deep breath before looking straight into your eyes. “I honestly thought you knew how long, I didn’t know I promise you that,” he picked up your free hand holding it in his. “You should know I’d never choose him or anyone for that matter over you.” 

Your heart felt like it stopped in that moment. “Why would you say that,” you asked breathless. 

He let out a chuckle he brought his hand up to caress your face. You couldn’t stop yourself from pressing your cheek firmly into his palm. You heart started to quicken. There was a look in the middle blockers eyes that you had never noticed before although it looked so familiar like this was how he always looked at you and you were just to blind to notice. “I thought it would have been obvious by now,” you didn’t notice how close you had both become. His face was merely an inch or two away from yours. His eyes glanced down to your lips, you copy the motion. You can feel your cheeks heat. “ I’m in love with you,” he states his breath hiting you face. Before you knew it his lips were connected to yours.

You didn’t pull back enjoying the feeling of his lips. He snaked his hand behind your head holding the back of your neck securely. The kiss was slow but so full of passion. You felt a light lick of his tongue as he requested to deepen the kiss. You gladly obliged opening your mouth to his exploration. You snaked your hands into his hair adjusting your body to his. Slowly he leaned you back on the couch capturing you underneath him. He slid he’s free hand down grabbing ahold of your hip as your tongue danced together sensually. He gave a light squeez to your hip. Your lips disconnected as your head fell back while you let out a soft moan. He seized this opportunity to place delicate kisses under your jaw and down your neck before latching on to your neck. You legs spread allowing him closer access to you. The hand at you hip gently crept up your shirt before giving a tender clutch to your breast. 

“Suna!” You mewled.

He gave a soft nip at your neck “say my name love,” he requested his voice heavy with want. He tweaked your nipple through the fabric of your bra. 

“Ahh Rintarou,” you moaned. Your fingers gripping at the black strands of his hair your back arching up into his touch. 

You could feel him smile into your neck. “You don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of hearing that,” he recapture your lips into a searing kiss as he rolled his hips into yours bringing another whimper forth. You were lost in the feeling of his presence. It was so calming and warm. You felt so comfortable in his arms like this was something you had done a thousand times. Your want for oxygen is sacrificed for the feeling of him pressed into your body. This was different than anything else. It was like he was trying to pour all of his love into this moment. Everything moving slowly as though he wanted to take his time with you. Nothing was hurried or fueled by lust. It was so unlike anything you experienced with Atsumu, or with ..... 

“Stop,” you breathed disconnecting your lips sitting up trying to create some distance between your bodies. He moved back worried. Cautious of his next move not wanting to scare you away. 

“I’m sorry did I hurt you? did I move to fast? I’m sorry YN,” he stammered out. 

“Shh Rin, it’s okay you didn’t do anything wrong it’s me,” he gave a small smile loving hearing you call him by his given name. That smile was quickly replaced with a questioning look. 

You calmed yourself trying to figure out how to explain your situation. “Rin I can’t do this right now it’s not okay.... there’s someone,” his face dropped.

“Your dating someone,” you could see the fear on his face. 

“Well no we’re not dating... it complicated.” 

He could start to figure out what you were referring to, he’s not naive. But still he wanted to allow you to explain it.

“Ah this is kind of embarrassing ugh,” you hid your face in your hands.

“It’s okay YN you can tell me anything,” he looked at you reassuring, he needed to know the truth about the situation. He could only hope it wasn’t to serious.

“Well ,” you took a deep breath “ there’s this guy, he’s my friend,” you add “ he and I are uhh well we sleep together, it’s been going on for two months now,” you search his face for any judgment yet you find none. You continue “ I just don’t feel right continuing with what we were doing.” 

He shook his head while he searched for his next words. “So you aren’t dating but you don’t feel right being with someone else,” he questions. 

“I won’t lie to Rin it’s complicated, I’m fairly certain I was falling for him, but there’s just so much going on and now this with you it’s a lot.” You give him a small smile. “I’m not sure we’re my head is at. I don’t want to make any mistakes that could ruin everything with you and how we move forward, I also have a lot to think about.” 

“I understand that but I hope you understand why I’m hesitant, I’m afraid you’ll drop me again and you’ll be gone from me again,” he looked up at you. “I need to know YN, please tell me why did you cut me out of your life?” 

You sighed grabbing his hands holding then tightly in your own. “Rin it was so hard, when he betrayed me it felt as though I’d lost the place I called home, like everything I knew was a lie, it terrified me at the idea that everything was a lie, even us, I don’t think I’d survived if I found out that what we have was nothing. So it was easier to push you and everyone else away, I was scared. I also couldn’t stand the idea of Atsumu being in any part of my life, and I still don’t that’s why I’m still so nervous letting you back in, I’m still not ready to face him.” 

“I would cut him completely out of my life for you YN, anything you ask and I do it! You could ask for the moon and I’d find a way.” A soft giggle left your lips at his proclamation. 

“I could never ask that of you, that’d include Osamu and he’s your closest friend, I couldn’t do that. And I’m not asking you to cut anyone out.... I just need some time,please understand that. These feeling I have for you are so strong but I want to sort them out before we move forward.” You looked him directly in the eyes. “I promise you Rin I will not drop you again, I don’t want you out of my life.” He nodded.

“Okay, I understand and I’ll give you time, but you have to give me your new number,” he smiled at you. You laughed smiling up at him. God how he missed that smile. You traded numbers, before you walked him to the door. 

“Goodnight Rin,” you smiled.

“Goodnight love,” he replied leaning down stealing one more kiss. You looked up at him surprised. “What I promised I’d give you time, I never said I wasn’t going to prove to you in that time just how much I love you,” he grinned that sly smile before slipping out your door. Just like earlier that day you slid down your door sitting on the floor letiting out a sigh, except now you had a multitude of new problems. But right now all you could think of was sleep. You were exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh they finally reconnected! Who to choose!


	7. Regrets

He laid in his empty bed staring up at his ceiling the only sound filtering through the room was the echo of the tv in the livingroom. He didn’t have the energy to go shut it off, plus he found comfort the noise it brought he found the silence unbearable. He sighed as he looked at the open space next to him. He never took much stock in how empty it felt without you next to him. The smell of your shampoo had long since vanished from the pillows. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine you were here next to him your head resting on his chest your hands interwoven talking about your plans for the day but while the memory played in his head clear as day his body had forgotten your warmth. It wasn’t too hard to picture , you had spent several morning just like that wrapped in each other’s embrace. He thinks to the mornings he’d walk out of his early showers to find you leaning against the kitchen counter drinking your morning coffee. He can still remember how you enjoyed your first cup of coffee to start your day. You liked your coffee sweet , but to were you could still taste the rich coffee flavor, always pairing it with an array of creamers. He remembers when you first started staying over at his place and he realized your affinity for flavored coffee he went out to the store and stocked up on as many flavors he could find in hopes you’d stay for more coffee before heading off to school. He loved that sight in the morning walking out and seeing you clad in just his shirt your hair a mess from last nights activities. But you weren’t here to have coffee in the morning, all of the creamers starting to expire, and he had no one to blame but himself.

Atsumu has spent the last seven month alone. There were a few nights he’d tried to pick up girls just to try and fill the gigantic hole left in his life by your absence but those all ended in disaster. One night he tried to have a careless hook up it didn’t get past the front door when he accidentally moaned your name when the random girl had cupped his manhood. She wasn’t very happy about that. He received a knee to the groin as she fleed the house. Another time he tried he was able to keep his mouth shut from making any mistakes after choosing a girl who was nothing like you but then he had another problem. He couldn’t get it up. You plagued his thoughts. You were the only woman his body wanted. It was quite embarrassing.

After Suna rocked his shit he finally started to snap out of his self pity. Why the hell was he crying? Because he was lonely? He can only imagine how lonely you felt every night he didn’t come home. He sighs running his hands down his face he really was a piece of shit he thinks. He didn’t treat you the way you deserved and he knows that. He knows he was selfish and inconsiderate. He knows he’s way to late but he regrets everything he did. Every single mistake eats away at him. None of it was worth it. Every flirt, every compliment that boosted his ego, the rush of excitement of being with someone else it was all worthless compared to being with you. He thinks back to everynight he stayed out late or he canceled dates, about the pain that hid behind your eyes. Now that his head wasn’t stuck up his ass he could finally see all of the misery he put you through. And he hated himself for it. 

The setter wanted nothing more that to fix all of his mistakes, but he knew he was too late. Atsumu didn’t expect you to ever in a thousand years forgive him or even in a million years want him back, but he knows he can’t just do nothing. He’d spend the rest of his days trying to make amends. After Suna had pointed out how horrible he was for not looking for you he did everything to find you. He started by calling the University to see if you had been attending class but even with the title of fiancé , which he understood was false by not adding former to the title, they refused him any information to protect your privacy. He had long noticed the empty bank account but he wasn’t worried about that the money it was the least you deserved. Plus the fantasy of making you his wife and calling you YN Miya was nothing but a pipe dream now. So he’s sure the money would do you better. He tried to follow any money trail you left. He found the hotel that you must have run to that night. But even that was a bust leading to a dead end. He only knew one more course of action. He called your parents. They refused to answer his calls. Eventually he drove down to Hyogo by himself. The setter stood there on the front steps he’d stand on every morning when he’d walk you to school. It felt so familiar to knock on the cedar door, but everything felt so distant from his memories. Still he wasn’t quite sure what he expected, maybe for you to answer the door with a bright smile like you had all those years ago yet what he received was your mother standing there with a look of disgust present. He didn’t get a word in before she slammed the door in his face. He begged for her come back to please talk to him he just needed answers but he only received silence. He stayed there for close to an hour trying to get just a morsel of information. It was useless they refused to speak to him. That was his last idea he could come up with for finding you. Full of dread he made his way to his car ready to make the long drive home. The next day he received a phone call from his brother.

“Hey Samu what’s u-” the blonde started before his grey haired twin interrupted his greeting going straight to the point.

“She’s alive and fine,” Atsumus heart stuttered before he breathed a sigh of relief. He opened his mouth to ask his next question but Osamu cut him off yet again already knowing what his twin was going to ask.

“No we don’t know where she is. Kita-Senpai went to her parents and all they’d state was she was alive and out of harm, not that I’d tell you where she is if I knew,” Osamu’s tone was sharp. Atsumu knew he deserved that. His brother had made him well aware of his dissatisfaction in the blondes actions. He had to thank the his brother though, as upset he was with him he still looked out for him. Always checking up on him making sure he was eating and keeping up with his hygiene, throwing away all the liquor he could find because as disappointed he was with Atsumu he couldn’t let him tear himself apart. 

“I know Samu, thank you for telling me.” He spoke softly before clicking the end call button. 

He accepted that it was best he stayed out of your life. He wanted to make everything up to you and if staying out of your life was wanted then he’d respect your wishes. He spent the next months bettering himself. He cut all alcohol out of his life. Only going out when it was with his teammates although that was a rare occurrence they were also quite disappointed with how he had treated you, especially his wing spiker Sakusa. Omi-Omi had always had a soft spot for you. But still they didn’t let it affect their game play. He focused all of his energy on volleyball. He even started going to a few therapy sessions for his self distructive behaviors and impulses. He really wanted to do and be better if not for you then for himself. Although he still had trouble being home alone without you, never feeling quite whole. With out you this house would never truly be his home again. He was starting to get better and not drown in agony every morning he woke up alone although he knew he deserved it. One step that had made the process easier was boxing up the remainder of your belongings that you had left. For so long he had kept everything just as you left it hopeful for your return thinking maybe everything could go back to normal and life could be picked up where it was left off although this time he’d swear to never hurt you again. It was unrealistic to think that though. His therapist had told his several times it was a step he needed to take and while it took several months he was finally able to remove any trace from the house. That night he cried him self to sleep from the finality that came from not seeing a piece of you around as though you had never been there in the first place. 

He regretted not cherishing you for the amazing woman you are. He’ll never forgive himself for losing the best thing to everything to happen to him. At Seven months since that night he was finally able to breath when he went home, not suffocating from regret every moment present in those walls. The Jackals were on a winning streak and even more exciting they had just got a new member. And after all these years he was able to hold up at least one promise he had made after breaking so many at least he could fulfill one promise by finally getting to set for Shoyo Hinata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: guess who’s fridge went out and won’t be able to get a new one till the 15th 🙋🏻♀️😩. Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual it’s kind of a filler But next chapter should be pretty long. I know a couple of people were wonder what happened with him so here we are with the return of a character. I might set up a poll for who should YN end up with so look out for that. I’m going to start writing my next story soon it’s going to be another angst!


	8. Hope

Hinata stared at his phone questioning whether he should message you again. It had been four days since you ran out of his apartment. You had yet to respond to any of his texts. As concerned as he is he knows no good will come from spamming you. Although he wants nothing more than for you too talk to him. He was so confused where you both stood. But he was sure of one thing, and that was that things couldn’t go back to the way they were before. He can’t go back to pushing down his feelings and pretending he doesn’t want to be more. That he didn’t want to call you his and show you off to the world. To take you out on dates try new experiences and make memories with you. He can’t keep acting like he doesn’t dream of waking up to you in his arms every morning. He wants to be there with you every step in life and support you no matter what. He wants to show you that you are the most amazing woman he’s ever known. As much as the sex is amazing it’s not worth holding back anymore. He knows you may still not be ready for a relationship and he wouldn’t think about pressuring you into one after how horribly your last ended, he’d gladly wait for you to be ready but he has to be honest with his feelings instead of torturing himself.

The sound of his alarm snapped him out of his daze. Time to get ready for practice, he groaned pulling himself from the comfort of his bed before heading to the shower to start his day. He shuffled in the bathroom hooking up his phone to his Bluetooth speaker starting up with morning playlist beginning his morning routine. He loved jamming in the shower. He turned the water on letting the heat build as he brushed his teeth before climbing into the steaming shower bopping his head to the beat of silhouette by Kana-boon having to refrain himself from attempting to naruto running in the slippery bath. He stood there for a moment enjoying the heat hitting his back and loosening his muscles. Losing himself in the music as he grabbed his three in one, body wash, shampoo and conditioner. He scrubbed his hair and body screaming the lyrics to the next song. “Sawaras nai kimi wa shojo wa na no Boku wa yarichinbitchi no osu da yo !!,” he was jamming out when the song was interrupted by the sound of a notification. He thought nothing of it figuring it was just Bokuto-San. When the chimes continue his curiosity won out as he peeked out passed the curtain still covered in bubbles to see who was spamming his phone. His eyes grew wide as he saw your name lighting up his notifications. He rushed for his phone loosing his balance and slamming the shower wall to keep himself from falling on his ass as he scrambled out still dripping and soapy as he stood in bathroom unlocking his phone. 

YN-Chan 🧡: Hey Shoyo

YN-Chan🧡: you’re usually up by now so I thought I’d message you to say I’m soo soo sorry for how I ran out the other day.

YN-Chan🧡: honestly I should have messaged you days ago but I’ve just been dealing with a lot . It’s no excuse but still I’m sorry.

YN-Chan 🧡: look I totally understand if you don’t want talk to me after how I acted but if you do I was hoping we could get together and talk?

Hinata could see the text bubble at the bottom showing she was typing but he wasted no time pulling up the call button needing to here your voice. It rang two times before connecting. His heart clinched hearing your soft hello. 

“Hey Sho,” you answered.

“Hey there YN-Chan,” he greeted back.

He could here a sense of nervousness in your tone. “Hey sorry if interrupted anything.” He realized how hard he was breathing from excitement and from nearly dying trying to escape his shower. 

“Oh no no, its fine I wasn’t busy,” he feigned nonchalance. There was a beat of silence as you both searched for words. 

“Umm you had said you wanted to talk?” He questioned. He was really concerned for why you ran off that day.

“Oh yeah but I’d much rather talk in person, is there anyway we could get together soon I understand if you’re busy,”

“I’m free tonight,” he cursed himself for how desperate he sounded, “uhh do you want to come over tonight?” 

You chuckled at his eagerness. “If it’s okay with you maybe we could go out... to like dinner maybe,” his heart froze his mind reeling with excitement you had never gone out before. Always just opting to have food delivered and eating in. He couldn’t help but let his hopes rise. 

“I know it’s not what we usually do so I get if you’re uncomfor-” 

“I’d love to!” He cuts you off. Not wanting to miss this chance.

“A-awesome um is 7:30 good for you?” You questioned. 

“Yep!” He could feeling his heart soaring as the plans started to solidify.

“Great well I’ll message you all of the details later, bye Sho umm I’ll see you tonight.”

“Goodbye YN-Chan, can’t wait!” He heard a small laugh leave your lips before the line disconnected. There is a wide smile spread across his face as leaning against the wall next to him not even upset that his shower water was now starting to run cold.   
——————

Hinata’s day was instantly better with thought of seeing you tonight the Idea of having a date with you filled him with joy. Everyone could see the difference in the outside hitter today compared to the last few practices. It’s was like he was in the zone. He was all over the court making the cleanest receives and his spikes were just so on point. It was time for there first water break and stretch. He sat on the bench taking a gulp of water a big smile present on his face when he checks his phone to see a message with a restaurant address. His teammates shared a look at the way the ginger stared at his phone.

“What’s got you so happy Hinata?” Sakusa questioned.

“Yeah Sho you’ve been on fire today plus you won’t stop smiling at your phone!” Bokuto boasted wrapping an arm around his newest teammate. 

“That obvious huh?” Hinata grinned. “Well uhh the girl I’ve been talking to wants to go on a date tonight!”

“Oh yeah?” Atsumu smirked “the same girl that’s been marking up yer back recently?” Bokuto and the Setter busted into laughter when Hinata’s faced turned red. Sakusa rolled his eye at the childish behavior. 

“Uh haha yeah that’s the one,” he chuckled rubbing the back of his head.

“Well if you’re already fuckin her why are you getting all giddy over a date?” The setter asked 

“We’ve actually never been on date before,” Hinata admitted.

“Damn Sho, first date! Why’d you wait so long dude?” Bo wondered.

“Really Hinata-Kun I didn’t take you for the casual sex type,” Sakusa stated

“She’s a friend but I’ve like her pretty much since we met but she’s just not ready for a relationship,” he explains “ she has some bad history but we kept fooling around as friends. I’m so excited cause she asked if I wanted to get dinner so I’m hoping maybe she’s starting to open up to the idea.” 

“Ha well good luck then bro,” Bokuto smacked him on the back laughing. The rest of them agreed in the well wishes before the whistle blew signaling the end of their break.   
————

They resumed their intense training. Right now focusing on their serves and some indurance training. The coaches were wearing them out today going over and over drills. Soon enough they were in the locker room showering up a bit and changing as they got ready for their lunch break before they’d have to return to practice. The locker room filled with chatter as they discussed different plays they wanted to work on or where they wanted to grab lunch. There conversation was interrupted when one of the coaching assistants poked their head in. 

“Miya-San your fiancé is here to see you, she waiting by the gym entrance.” He stated before turning to leave. All eyes were on the setter when he dropped his phone a look of shock present on his face. His mind was going a mile a minute he was so sure he miss heard the man . There was no way you were here. He stood up rushing to finish getting dressed. There was a pressure in the room he was ignoring some of his teammates sharing a confused look.

“I didn’t know you had a Fiancé Tsumu?” Hinata asked excitedly as the team started following behind the setter. 

“That’s because he doesn’t,” Sakusa stated bitterly. Atsumu shot a dirty look back at the wing spiker. 

“She left him months ago before you joined the team Shoyo-Kun, she’s are really nice girl though always brought us the best snacks when she’d visit,” Bokuto explained his hungry mind straying as he thought back to her delicious cooking. 

“Oh I’m sorry Atsumu,” Hinata apologized.

“Don’t he deserved it,” Sakusa scoffed. 

The setter paid no mind to comment there was no point in getting angry with the neat freak he was completely right. It didn’t matter at the moment what mattered was seeing you. He stopped in his tracks when he saw you standing there. You were even more beautiful than he remembered. You were looking at your hands picking at your nails. He could see you were nervous. So was he. What was he supposed to say he knew he owed you an apology and much more but it felt like he couldn’t breath looking at you. You looked up at him your eyes locking. There was a look he couldn’t quite pin point. It wasn’t exactly a look of hated which it was what he expected but it also nothing like the looks of love he used to receive. He didn’t even realize the boys had stopped behind him watching the scene. His eyes only focused on you and nothing else.

That is until he hears a sharp breath from behind him as Hinata called out your name. Bokuto and Sakusa’s eyes snapped to the ginger some confusion present. Atsumu however didn’t look away from you not even when you gaze shifted from the setter to his teammate. This look in your eyes he could distinguish. It was one you used to look at him with. It shattered Atsumu as he realized right then you were the woman Hinata had been talking about. It obvious when he saw a similar look of happiness on Shoyo’s face. It felt like a kick to the gut. An array of emotions swirling through his mind. He was hurt to think you moved on. Disgusted as he thought back to his earlier convo with the man and how they had discussed the scratches on his friends back and now realizing how they were from you. He felt like he was going to puke thinking of his teammate with you in that intimate way. But he knew he had no right to feel this way not after all he put you through so he pushed those emotions deep inside. Returning to the moment. 

“Hi Sho,” you gave a small smile as you shuffled nervously in your spot. 

“I thought we were getting dinner? We can switched to lunch if you need to tho.” He stated. 

Sakusa and Bokutos eyes grew wide finally coming to the same conclusion the setter previously had. Sakusa had to stifle a laugh as Bo muttered “oh shit” under his breath at the awkward situation. 

“Um actually Shoyo, I’d still like to get dinner with you. I know this must seem really confusing, and I promise to explain everything tonight, but uhh.. I actually here to see Miya-San.” You explain sheepishly.

Atsumu tried not to flinch at the use of his last name.

You turned to the blonde with a stoic face. “Can we get lunch, we really need to talk.” He nodded not knowing how to use his voice. 

You turned back to Hinata with a pleasing look. “I’ll call you later before our date, Sho.” Before turning to leave with Tsumu.

Hinata may be beyond confused right now not yet connecting the dots. But that didn’t matter he couldn’t stop his heart from skipping. Date. It’s a date. He wasn’t overthinking or wishing hopefully. It was an actual date with you! The woman he can’t get out of his mind. And that one little comfort was enough for him to trust the situation as he watched you walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m so sorry it took so long to put out this chapter I’m gunna try to do better on posting faster. I’ve had a lot of stuff happening irl. I love see so many of your write in for the poll 😂 I did not expect Sakusa to pop off! I hope y’all like this chapter. Again it’s still kind of short but I wanted to get it posted. Also you can’t convince me Hinata doesn’t use an all in one cleanser!


	9. Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : okay first thank you to everyone who has been checking on me thank you so much for all your support. I’m so sorry it took so long to update. It’s been a rough month for me. I’ve been dealing with a lot of depression and personal struggles. So I haven’t had the energy to write. I was finally able to put this together sorry it’s extremely unedited and also sorry if it’s not what you were expecting. I will be writing more to this however I can not say how quickly I will be able to get out the chapters. Again sorry for the inconvenience.

Your heart beated rapidly as you stared across at Atsumu. It had been months since you had seen your former lover and as much as you wished you were over him it still hurt. Looking at him he hadn’t changed much still as handsome as ever. Although he seemed more sullen not nearly as peppy as he used to be. His Hair had grown out a little more shaggy than it had been , and there were slight bags under his eyes. 

The setter sat across from you eyes trained on the drinks sitting in his hands that he had yet to sip from. You could feel the warmth of your coffee through the palm of your hands. A sad grin graced your face. He had ordered your favorite. After all this time he still remembers. That small smile was the only contrast to the somber intensity of this reunion.

Atsumu cleared his throat breaking you from your trance. “I owe you the biggest apology ever, YN, I am so so sorry for what I did,” he stated his voice shaky. He paused looking up at you unshed tear building in his eyes. “ what I did to you was unforgivable I know that, I was the biggest ass to you when all you ever did was support me. I was selfish and I want you to know I’ll never ask you to forgive me because I will never forgive myself.” Atsumu could feel his cheeks becoming damp as he quickly wiped away his tears. He knew he had no right to be sad. He took a deep breath ready to continue his apology when a small whimper escaped you. When your eyes met his he could see the trail out tears streaming down your face. It pained him to see you like this. You had never given him the chance to see your pain before.

Your throat felt tight as you tried to form your words. Part of you wanted to scream at him and tell him how shitty of a person he is. Who cares that he’s sorry it doesn’t change things. But you care. God do you feel like an idiot for doing so but you do. You loved this man for years of you’re life. And no matter the pain he put you through it still hurt to see him like this. You had never seen Atsumu cry in the 6 years of being with him. So seeing him so destroyed right in front of you was a complete shock.

“Why,” you finally chocked out.

“Because you never deserved what I put you through-” he began

“NO,” you snapped losing your composure for a moment. “Why did you do it!”

His eyes grew wide understanding your meaning.

“Why Atsumu! What did I do? Where did i go wrong! Was I not good enough?” You hiccuped tearing streaming down you’re broken face.

“No!” He snapped hurt that you’d ever think of yourself that way. “No don’t you ever think that way YN! You were perfect, You were there for me no matter what, you are beautiful and smart and the kindest person I know it was not your fault!”

“Then why Sumu! Why did you ruin us!” Your voice raising an octave.

“BECAUSE I WAS WEAK!” he broke tears hot tears falling freely. “I was weak and selfish! You were busy and never had time for me anymore because of school. You rarely came to my games at the time. And when I was at home you were always busy studying!” He looked at your shocked expression. “But looking back it was completely unfair of me to feel like that! I know that! Going to school was your dream just like volleyball was mine! I was selfish I know that now! After these months of therapy I’ve realized I was selfish our whole relationship.” He stopped catching his breath and calming down. He didn’t want to be the impulsive man he used to be. This maybe the last time he speaks to you he doesn’t want to ruin it by being heated.

You waited as he calmed himself. Observing the man in front of you. While he may look like him the man in front of you was not the Atsumu Miya you knew. You could see that clearly now. The man you knew would have brushed this off, or made round about excuses never taking responsibility. This was a new man. The Sumu you knew didn’t believe in therapy. And you have to admit you’re glad he’s getting help.

Atsumu opened his eyes looking up at you. “I know it may not seem like it YN but I love you I always have and I always will, I know I was shit at showing it but it’s true,” he sighed “but I also know that you deserve way better than me.” He took a deep breath knowing this next part would be the hardest to say. “ I know our lives overlap, in more ways than I thought apparently,” thinking back to the fact that his teammate was head over heels for you, “but i promise I won’t make your life hard, I’ll keep my distance, and if you want me completely out of your life I make sure to stay away, I won’t ever bother you if that’s what you want, although I will miss you, I want you to be happy.” He gave a soft and hopeful smile knowing this was the least that he could do.

This was not what you expected at all when choosing to meet with him. Although it was a relief in a way to have some sort of closure. He has definitely changed that much you can see. But your feelings were still so jumbled. One thing was made clear through this emotional meeting though. While part of you wanted to hate him, a big part of you still cared. But you were certain now that it wasn’t the same as before. You were sure that you had finally moved forward from your love of Atsumu Miya. Yes you still cared deeply for him but he no longer held your heart.

Looking down at your cup of coffee you finally allowed yourself a sip of the sweet liquid relishing in all the memories it brought with it. Atsumu sat patiently wait for your response not wanting to rush you. Even if his lunch break was well past ended he didn’t care volleyball could wait, he owed you that. After several moments of thoughtful silence you spoke.

“I need time,” you stated. “I don’t hate you, but I’m just not ready to forgive you yet, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for you to be in my life. Or if I ever will be, for right now I’d appreciate if you kept your distance as I continue to heal and reach my decision.”

The setter nodded accepting your choice. He stood slowly making sure to give a good long look to the woman he loved knowing this may be the last time you speak. “This is goodbye then,” he sighs giving you a small nod to which you return. He goes to leave with a heavy heart. He stops turning back to you. Your attention is fully on him still.

“He really cares about you ya know,” he gives a small smile and wave before turning around and finally walking away.

You hadn’t expected those words from him. A small giggled left your lips. You had no clue which man he meant.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first angst. Also Unedited  
> Vote for who she should choose.  
> https://www.opinionstage.com/cuddlesslut/who-should-yn-choose


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